10 effective ways to stay motivated
Posted On Thursday, 11 October 2012 at at 23:55 by Learner
Try these tips on how to be self-motivated to get your work life back on track or to keep going top speed on your career path!
1. Be confident. If you don't believe in yourself, why would anyone else? We all have something we are good at. Have faith in yourself and try to work on your niche skills. Drive the fear of failure far away from you. Remember, what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger!
2. Be clear. Fuzzy, undefined goals are difficult to focus on. How will you proceed when the path seems all foggy? Request your manager for defined, measurable objectives and tasks.
If your manager is not very forthcoming, take some initiative and work with him until you have clarity about your role and what you will be appraised on, at the end of the year. Self-motivated people work best with clearly defined objectives in life. Even if the targets seem a little hazy, house-bred motivation can come in real handy!
3. Work on yourself. Nothing works better as a power shot of motivation than the knowledge that you are good at what you do! Be on top of things at work. Identify your weak areas and get them out of the way. Enroll in courses that will raise your market value and also your motivation levels. Getting a few certifications and qualifications in your functional skills will definitely instill a great deal of confidence.
4. Take criticism positively. Even though the other person has no such intentions, turn all negative criticism into a positive driving force. Failure is a state a mind. If you think you can succeed, you will. Always think positive. That way, instead of brooding over past disappointments, you will route your frustration into positive energy required for working harder. It works like magic.
"My boss was always running me down. Even when I did a good job, he never praised me. Initially I used to feel terrible and slowly started to look for excuses to avoid official meetings when he would once again find reasons to discourage me. I contemplated resigning and finding a new job where I did not have to prove myself over and over again," recounts Mohit Sethi*. "But then, there were no guarantees that my next boss would be better to work with. So, I took it up as a challenge. I started reporting to work early and always finished my tasks before time. My team members started to respect me more because I helped them when my work was done. Gradually, my boss took a back step when he realised that I was now a highly productive member of the team. If I had not been self motivated to prove a point, thoughts of having failed and run away would have chased me forever."
5. Look out for challenges. If the current job demotivates you, not to worry. Be open to try out new things if your present role has become too boring to continue even a day more. Talk to your seniors to redefine your role to optimise your capabilities. Establish your reputation as somebody who is not scared to take on new challenges in life.
6. Be persistent. Most things may not work out right the first time. This just means that you need to try harder. However, ensure that you set your heart on goals that are really important to you and will help you progress in life. Save your efforts for things that matter. Do not waste your energies on peripheral things.
Manage your time, maximise your efficiency
7. Keep the company of successful people. Try to surround yourself with confident people who are driven and high on life. Read books that fill you with optimism. Put up motivating posters and quotes on your workstation that will spread positive energy and drive away any depressing thoughts. Look around for successful people and try to emulate them. Find out what makes them tick and include that in your working style.
8. Celebrate life. If something doesn't shape up like you thought it would, it does not mean everything else is doomed as well. Do not feel stressed; high stress leads to low motivation. Take active interest in things happening around you. Live your life well. Continue to have faith in yourself and get involved in things that give you happiness. That itself will generate enough motivation for you to glide over waves of setbacks.
9. Start today. List all that is important for you to achieve your goals. Divide long-term goals into smaller milestones and celebrate each accomplished goal. Procrastination is a killer so keep it at bay.
10. Keep dreaming. Lastly, do not forget to keep dreaming. Dream big! Let your dreams fuel your desire to get closer to your goals. Write your dreams for yourself in a diary or a journal and constantly refer to them so that you do not forget or lose sight of the objective.
Remember, "Motivation is all about how high you can bounce when you hit absolute rock bottom."
The writer is senior manager -- Training for a US-based MNC. The views expressed in this article are solely her own and not of her organisation.
Can cyber love last forever?
Posted On Tuesday, 9 October 2012 at at 00:14 by LearnerCan cyber love last forever?
We have all read endless stories about people who have found love or heartbreak while looking for a relationship on the Internet. Numerous websites have been dedicated to finding that perfect match online. From chatrooms to social networking sites and dating sites - the Internet has changed the way we live and love. But the question is: how real is Internet romance? More importantly, can it last forever? Does the anonymity factor play a major role in deciding the fate of such relationships? In fact, for most people, anonymity is the major cushioning factor against heartbreak. But what happens when the couple decides to actually meet? Does reality give a nasty jolt? Or can they continue to live in their fantasy world forever?
Tell us what you think about Cyber Love in the comments.
Why men shouldn’t take charge when it comes to sex
Posted On Friday, 5 October 2012 at at 04:45 by LearnerWhy men shouldn’t take charge when it comes to sex
Researchers from Yale University find that for young adults, sticking to traditional gender roles makes them less comfortable and therefore possibly less safe in the bedroom.
Researchers recruited 357 women and 126 men ages 18 to 29, all heterosexual and sexually active.
Study head Lisa Rosenthal and her team had subjects respond to survey questions on their sexual confidence and sexual assertiveness in a private cubicle, where there was a bowl of female condoms with a sign that read: "Protect yourself and your partner. Please take some! Free Female Condoms."
Findings showed that the more the subjects endorsed traditional power dynamics, the less likely they were to both report sexual confidence in the survey and take the free condoms, the New York Daily News reported.
"If men believe that men should dominate sexually, this may prevent them from feeling open or comfortable discussing sexual behavior and protection with their partners or asking questions about things they may not know," which could dampen sexual confidence, the researchers wrote.
"For both women and men, the belief that men should dominate sexually could reduce interest in female condoms, because female condoms are meant to be a woman-centered source of protection and may be seen as violating the norm or belief that men should be in control of sexual situations," the researchers explained.
Female subjects in general were less likely than the men to believe that men should be more dominate in sexual situations.
The study is published in the online journal Sex Roles.
Article taken fromThe Times of India
Why do women feel guilty?
Posted On Thursday, 4 October 2012 at at 06:08 by LearnerWhy do women feel guilty?
Do you find yourself burying your head in shame each time you fail to be a perfect hostess, or when you say no? Here's how to stop whipping yourself
Are you sick of reading about how an amazinglettuce-only diet will make you happier, or how decluttering your home could transform yoursex life? You're not the only one. After all, you have enough to feel guilty about
without worrying about your love handles or your kids' confidence. According to a recent study, 96 per cent of women feel guilty at least once a day. This can have a destructive effect on our health, even factoring in the onset of depression. Here's how to cancel guilt trips.
No time for kids
Since most mothers now go out to work, women are expected to balance a happy home life with the demands of a job. But a startling majority feels like they haven't got the balance right. If you're at work worrying about the children, work isn't getting the best out of you and the kids aren't getting anything. Anxiety is rehearsing for tomorrow and reliving the past — stay in the here and now. When you're at work, be 100 per cent at work and when you're with your children, be 100 per cent with them. That way everyone benefits.
Not losing extra kilos
Women are so demoralised from being bombarded with images of "perfect" models that their default mode for shape and size tends to be set at "dissatisfaction". More than 70 per cent report being on a diet at any one time, regardless of whether they are actually overweight or not. Choose to change your situation and make time to go to the gym. If you choose not to do that, then view the situation differently — recognise it is your choice and no one else is to blame. But don't stay in the same situation and view it with horror. That wastes energy.
Spulrging on yourself
Going on a shopping spree may be fun at the time, but the after effects can send some into a spiral of self-loathing and guilt. A survey found that 80 per cent of women felt bad about splashing their cash on themselves just hours after they had finished shopping; 10 per cent felt so crippled by remorse that they refused to disclose their purchases to their partner. But as long as it's not eating into important payments, then spending money on yourself is fair enough.
Women don't see making themselves feel better as a gain for everyone. But if you rationalise your reasons for spending money on a spa break because you need the downtime, then you have no reason to feel guilty.
Not making him happy
Like the balance needed to maintain a happy home and work life, there is often effort needed to keep a relationship on track. But if you're feeling stretched, your partner is likely to be the first to suffer from your lack of attention and this causes stress and guilt. If you feel guilty that you're not doing enough to make your loved one happy, sit down and look at your timetables and agree on how you to make more time for each other. Discuss it and come up with a change in your behaviour that will make you both happier.
Always late
Sometimes situations arise which make us late, no matter how prepared we are. Seeing time as a gift will enable you to make the best out of the situation and prevent panic. You can either be late and flustered or late and collected. Sitting on a train and getting aggravated is a waste of energy. It's not the end of the world; it's a problem to be solved. Stay in the here and now, and ask yourself how you can use the moment? Jot a list, or call your mother.
Imperfect hosting
Many women would like to host the perfect dinner party, but they often set high standards. The desire for social excellence derives from the need to be perfect all the time. Host your party and be a bad hostess. The moment you accept you can do it, but do it badly, it takes the pressure off. Women give themselves a lot of 'should, oughts and musts', but these don't exist — everyone has a different perception, so host a dinner, but do it your way.
Forgetting birthdays
Though men might forget a birthday and shrug it off, women are more likely to beat themselves up for days for such minor oversights. Go easy on yourself, but also, go easy on others who forget.
It's not deliberate. When people aren't putting you first, you must see it from their point of view and if we could be more generous then we wouldn't feel so guilty. If you feel guilty, tell yourself you know you're doing your best, apologise and make clear it wasn't deliberate.
Taking some 'me' time
Living up to the 'superwoman' image can lead to terrible feelings of guilt over getting your hair done. But doing nothing is very important in allowing women to physically and mentally recharge. But it is very difficult to allow yourself to do it. Tell people the truth. That you need a break because you are at your limit — then accept that the world will not fall apart without you.
Letting your folks down
Women can inherit guilt through generations — of not doing enough for their elders, not doing it right or 'failing' their parents. Learn to accept that your parents will love and judge you no matter what. Do try and be sensitive but if you go your own way and you are successful and happy, then if they are decent human beings, they'll be happy for you.
Saying 'no'
Saying 'no' is hard because women don't want to be seen as the baddie and because they are taught to put others first. Give yourself time to think about each request, so have ready a stalling tactic. If you really don't want to do what they ask, give options to help solve their problem — brainstorm alternatives.
However, if you've explained why you can't do something and they can't see it from your point of view, then accept that they're being unreasonably selfish and taking advantage of your goodwill.
How To Increase Your Communication Skills
Posted On Wednesday, 3 October 2012 at at 22:49 by LearnerHot to Increase Your Communication Skills
1. Awareness of your own interaction with other people is the first step in improving your communication skills.Learn to identify which types of situations make you uncomfortable and then modify your behavior to achieve positive results is a critical step in improving your communication skills.
You can learn to become aware of behaviors in other people that prompt you to respond in negative ways and modify your own behavior to turn the situation into a positive experience.
2. You must accept responsibility for your own behavior and do not fear apologizing for errors in judgment or insensitive actions.
Asking others for honest feedback about the way you interact with others can be very helpful. Accept the negative feedback along with the positive and make changes accordingly.
3. Your non-verbal communication is equally as important as the things that you say. Positive body language is extremely important in your interactions with other people.
If your words and your actions do not match, you will have a difficult time succeeding in social situations.
4. In order to learn how to improve your communication skills, you must become a great listener. You must fight the urge to respond immediately and really listen to what the other person is trying to communicate.
Offering suggestions or criticism before you are certain of the other person's intent can only lead to frustration for both parties.
5. Improving your communication skills is a process and cannot be accomplished overnight . Trying to improve or change too many things at once will be counter-productive.
You will become discouraged and overwhelmed if you attempt to change your entire personality all at once. Choose one or two traits at a time and work on those over a period of time. Learn to take advantage of your personal strengths and make a positive impact on others.
6. Maximize your positive personality traits and use them in your interactions with others. Good communication and great listening skills are the most important tools you can use in improving your communication skills.
You can learn how to improve your communication skills by developing excellent listening skills, learning to resolve problems and conflicts, understanding body language, and accepting responsibility for your own negative behavior.
Determination and self-awareness will make your desire to improve your communication skills a reality.
"We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge. People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
Pause and ponder. Think before you act. Be patient. Forgive & forget. Love one and all.
If you judge people, you have no time to love them". -- Mother Teresa
Never take some one for granted,Hold every person Close to your Heart because you might wake up one day and realise that you have lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones."
Remember this always in life.